Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
- taco bell employee: how are you today?
- me: crunchwrap supreme
- Every time I get my period: Wow no okay that was not a month.
spongebob’s thigh gap is dope as fuck
never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural
“isn’t that a little gay” my friend asks
“yes” i respond as i look at the miniature homosexual sitting on my desk “it is”
REMEMBER 3 DECIMAL PLACES
blushing is like getting a boner but on ur face
if artistic people are forced to take years of math and science then why don’t sciencey people have to take art and music classes
someone found a real life plot hole
When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has
the reason high school is so difficult is because ned never made a guide for anything past 8th grade
you cant eat the pussy until you finish your vegetables
oona:
sweden has invented a carbonated water that tastes exactly like chocolate milkshake this could be the cure for obesity where is the nobel prize
we invented the nobel prize it would almost be cheating to give it to ourselves
